The 30s are the decade of the woman.
She has the beauty and fertility to be the bell of every ball while having the confidence, clarity of purpose, and tricks of the trade to be downright dangerous.
So if you're 30 something & not stoked about your dating results, allow me to fill you in on a few fabulous truths to direct your attention to:
1. Unapologetic Confidence.
Our 30s are a great time for personal revelation, comfort and confidence, as well as clarity in purpose.
why on earth we focus on slight aging signs and a panic over wasted youth when we're in our prime makes no sense. Spending so much as a breath explaining to a date what you wished you did differently or why you still have some holiday weight is the biggest mistake any woman can make. Wiggle when you walk, laugh loudly, spread your feminine energy broadly, and rock what you've got.
Yes we want to be fully seen, but he needs to see you as the inspiring goddess you are and would never notice those flaws if you didn't advertise them.
Stop with all conversation that isn't about how fabulous, excited, interesting, or busy you are. Acknowledge vulnerability but stay positive and emanate your goddess glow. It's your true self anyway and you really shouldn't lie to him by lowering your worth in the name of humility or external validation.
2. we Understand the role of story-telling in success.
My ladies in branding and marketing could write this paragraph. The rest of us should listen up. Your brand and perceived worth will be determined by how you position yourself.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you've probably been kicking ass in your career and need to call me asap to take advantage of all that is out there to accentuate your goddess glow. It took me until 26 to figure out how to enjoy my God given gifts.
It's way too fun and men are way too visual to not know your way around a pair of fake eyelashes, stillettos, great black dresses, facials, runway walks, and flattering camera angles.
While annoying to be so heavily judged on such a shallow criteria, our evolutionary brain keeps it a priority and we want you dazzling your hottest prospect while your fertility indicators are still primed and ready.
4. We Filter Faster
Thank God we're no longer willing to take scraps to obtain a man's time. Most of us can't believe it took us this long to figure out that men are wired to chase and would rather chase 7s than be chased by 10s. Their brain flips the crazy switch when we pursue, shoving us into a category we don't actually belong in, leaving them unmotivated to work hard for us. Have standards, set boundaries, be fabulous, and have faith that the next one is coming if this one doesn't pan out.
In our 30s, we no longer settle. We now know it sets us up for poor treatment and underwhelming life experiences the entirety of the relationship. Just being absent doing our own thing is enough to give him the "miss you time" he needs to regroup as a man, get shit done, and get fired up to see you again. Being busy and treating men you really like similar to men you kind of like is the key to early dating success.
Stick to the plan and ditch the duds. Sticking with losers longer will only attract less than we deserve.
We no longer waste time being a guys booty call, hoping he comes around, and taking less than we know we deserve. We LOOK FOR RED FLAGS and filter faster - not because we have less time but because we're now smart enough to not waste ours. The universe and the man in question will give us what we think we deserve. Act like a prize and enjoy being pursued as one.
5. We broaden our prospects from past experience
The bad boy quarterback billionaire we may have been narrowly looking for in our 20s is now a laughable, media conjured, biological caricature of what is actually out there. The few that do exist are usually assholes thanks to the corruption of unlimited power and make for the worst partners and fathers (though painfully and annoyingly sexy). We're now smart enough to let the 20 somethings fight to "change" the lost cause men & reward the good ones.