4 min Melt into Your Best Self Meditation

4 min Melt into Your Best Self Meditation

Take 4 minutes with Wellness & Relationship Coach Sara Plummer Barnard to connect back to the best part of you.

Why your 30s are your best dating decade.

The 30s are the decade of the woman.

She has the beauty and fertility to be the bell of every ball while having the confidence, clarity of purpose, and tricks of the trade to be downright dangerous.

So if you're 30 something & not stoked about your dating results, allow me to fill you in on a few fabulous truths to direct your attention to:

1. Unapologetic Confidence.

Our 30s are a great time for personal revelation, comfort and confidence, as well as clarity in purpose.

why on earth we focus on slight aging signs and a panic over wasted youth when we're in our prime makes no sense. Spending so much as a breath explaining to a date what you wished you did differently or why you still have some holiday weight is the biggest mistake any woman can make. Wiggle when you walk, laugh loudly, spread your feminine energy broadly, and rock what you've got.

Yes we want to be fully seen, but he needs to see you as the inspiring goddess you are and would never notice those flaws if you didn't advertise them.

Stop with all conversation that isn't about how fabulous, excited, interesting, or busy you are. Acknowledge vulnerability but stay positive and emanate your goddess glow. It's your true self anyway and you really shouldn't lie to him by lowering your worth in the name of humility or external validation.

2. we Understand the role of story-telling in success.

My ladies in branding and marketing could write this paragraph. The rest of us should listen up. Your brand and perceived worth will be determined by how you position yourself.

No being too available. No being self deprecating. No explaining away anything. You're in the best decade of your life and couldn't be more thrilled. Zero fear ladies. The words you say will determine how he sees you.

If you're feeling generous, explain to one of those fabulous 20 somethings the power she has if she's willing to put the insecurity, neurosis, and self limiting beliefs aside.

You are the minx he's been waiting for with all of the brains, beauty, experience, bedroom tricks, gratitude, and life hacks that make you the ultimate partner. The only reason you're still available is because you "recently got out of something after realizing you were settling and thought you both deserved better". That's it. Zero further explanation. Oh yeah, and you seem to not stay single long for whatever reason... Cue the coy innocent glance.

He is not your therapist and cannot know anything beyond that as to why someone of your caliber could possibly be available. If you're online dating, see my specific recommendation in the Tinder Article. Online dating is already disadvantageous - But it's not a deal breaker and can be done gracefully by holding your ground, worth, and standards.

3. We know how to  put our Best face forward.

Thanks to beauty revelations, there's a good chance you're even prettier than you were in your 20s understanding the rules of the fashion, makeup, camera angles, lighting, and great dermatologist game. These skills were acquired after a confusing decade in the wrong concealer. You made it through that battleground so use every trick in the book to enjoy your female embodiment thoroughly. my girlfriends raised with money often figured this out earlier and had the kind of fun in their 20s, the 30s guarantee.

 If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you've probably been kicking ass in your career and need to call me asap to take advantage of all that is out there to accentuate your goddess glow. It took me until 26 to figure out how to enjoy my God given gifts.

It's way too fun and men are way too visual to not know your way around a pair of fake eyelashes, stillettos, great black dresses, facials, runway walks, and flattering camera angles.

While annoying to be so heavily judged on such a shallow criteria, our evolutionary brain keeps it a priority and we want you dazzling your hottest prospect while your fertility indicators are still primed and ready.

4. We Filter Faster

Thank God we're no longer willing to take scraps to obtain a man's time. Most of us can't believe it took us this long to figure out that men are wired to chase and would rather chase 7s than be chased by 10s. Their brain flips the crazy switch when we pursue, shoving us into a category we don't actually belong in, leaving them unmotivated to work hard for us. Have standards, set boundaries, be fabulous, and have faith that the next one is coming if this one doesn't pan out.

In our 30s, we no longer settle. We now know it sets us up for poor treatment and underwhelming life experiences the entirety of the relationship. Just being absent doing our own thing is enough to give him the "miss you time" he needs to regroup as a man, get shit done, and get fired up to see you again. Being busy and treating men you really like similar to men you kind of like is the key to early dating success.

Stick to the plan and ditch the duds. Sticking with losers longer will only attract less than we deserve.

We no longer waste time being a guys booty call, hoping he comes around, and taking less than we know we deserve. We LOOK FOR RED FLAGS and filter faster - not because we have less time but because we're now smart enough to not waste ours. The universe and the man in question will give us what we think we deserve. Act like a prize and enjoy being pursued as one.

5. We broaden our prospects from past experience

The bad boy quarterback billionaire we may have been narrowly looking for in our 20s is now a laughable, media conjured, biological caricature of what is actually out there. The few that do exist are usually assholes thanks to the corruption of unlimited power and make for the worst partners and fathers (though painfully and annoyingly sexy). We're now smart enough to let the 20 somethings fight to "change" the lost cause men & reward the good ones.

Look at why your last 5 relationships didn't work and start selecting men that have different qualities that perhaps you wouldn't allow for in past pursuits.

Take a hard look at if drug like chemistry or rock hard abs is the MOST IMPORTANT quality a partner must have. Could we be filtering out happiness by selecting based on someone else's silly standards? Do we actually really enjoy feeling safe, laughing a lot, and wanting to enjoy talking to our longterm partner - which may not come in the package we've been marketed in perfume ads.

Our 30s are rad, let's enjoy our power.

give yourself permission to be fierce, feminine, and fabulous and unapologetically rock what you've got.  Women in their 20s often miss their power wrapped up in how stressful that decade is in so many areas. yu have the knowledge, insight, tools, and experience born confidence to truly rock what you've got & enjoy every step of it. dating is your playground girl! get to it.

Personality Type and Happiness

Happiness is a wheel with many spokes on it. Some of it we have control over and some of it is the genetic cortical lottery. But outside of brain chemicals and basic needs being met, there are fun little nuanced cosmic pieces to finding our blend of happiness.

Honoring our preferences and the individual things that make us unique help us uncover our purpose, identity, and sources of joy .  

Culture, gender, spirituality, genetics, birth order, birth signs, and lifestyle can all add pieces to the puzzle. I had a blast peering into the Myers Briggs insights on personality type. Find yours with this test and see if the graph and link below offer insight to your strengths and ideal careers. Take what serves you and leave the rest.

Strengths & Weaknesses of each Personality Type

Infograph: www.careerassessmentsite.com

BEST CAREERS BY PERSONALITY:

 

Beautiful Body Types

BODY TYPE & BEAUTY:  Sports Illustrated got some heat last month over bowing to pressure to feature more regular sized women in their famous bikini spread.  

                      HERE'S WHY I LIKE THE EXPANSION OF THEIR FEATURED BEAUTY IDEAL:

 

Energy- the good, the bad, the ugly

Oxidative Stress: It's ruining our youthful beauty & stealing our energy!

Mitochondria & our metabolism control our energy. When our mitochondria get overwhelmed by oxidative stress from toxins, we get tired.  

8 things I learned on vacation in Mexico

1. I am the all you can eat buffet mosquitos have been waiting their whole lives for.

Trinidad, Alaska, Mexico... getting 30 per leg is the average welt count I come home with. I can't shake the little buggers. 

2. Even in paradise, I can find a way to NOT relax.

Who stresses out they can't do everything in 2 days???  Lie down on the sand Sara & do not move unless otherwise instructed - You're on activity time out.

Why WE MUST TAKE REAL BREAKS - Aaahahahaha :)

As much as we'd love to live on caffeine and cortisol forever sprinting along at a manic, dopamine releasing pace, it's not good for us - & it's not sustainable.

I'm 32 and have stage 2 Adrenal Fatigue which in our Western Culture is almost a badge of type A honor: except it's really bad for us.

Whether we want to admit our need to break or not, our body's going to direct us to mindlessly troll Facebook, hop on words with friends, or justify an obsessively long trip to the bathroom mirror. The brain needs zone out time.

Probiotics- the power of the balanced tummy

70% of your immune system & 90% of Serotonin (feel good chemicals) are made in your gut. And wether our immune system is strong, head is happy, and nutrients get absorbed from food is heavily dependent on OUR GOOD GUT BACTERIA  (aka PROBIOTICS).

How Probiotics work:

Processed foods & crappy starches feed our bad bacteria / soldiers. Good food feeds are good bacteria / soldiers. Probiotics simply add more good soldiers to the ranks.

So keep replenishing your good soldiers/ probiotics & feed the existing ones good food while starving out the bad ones by reducing your sugar and crappy starches. This will keep your stomach lining strong to absorb nutrients and keep toxins from leaking through a damaged gut wall.

 

How to Party Like a Rockstar & still feel like a Marathon Runner

It's the fit socialite's dilemma:

To toss back the tequila shots with the fun kids or sip soda water and lime and live to conquer the next day with productivity and fervor.

Ninja trick:  Drink > Supplement / Water > Detox.

3 stretches I do every morning before a long day of sitting

Some of us can't get around the realities of our 9-5. Others have awesome bosses that value ergonomic chairs, standing desks, and lunchtime yoga. For those trapped in a seated capacity, here are 3 tricks to wake your body up, get the support muscles firing, and take restorative breaks throughout the day.

3 WARMUP MOVES- 6 Min

1.  Knees in > Spinal Twist

2 mood boosting drinks I can't live without

It turns out our mood can be hampered by everything from nutrition deficiency, hormone imbalance, negative social feedback, lack of sleep, and negative internal talk.

Whatever the cause, feeling bad blows. Fortunately, there are three drinks on the market that give us the nutritional support to repair our foundation and assess if the problem is bigger than an imbalanced brain, I'm obsessed with all of them for different reasons.

5 FACTORS that keep us off the SUGAR TRAIN

Sugar is my favorite vice and It used to be a large majority of my daily calories... like 80%

The problem is sugar is one of the most toxic & addictive drugs we can put in our system and companies fill their products with this damaging substance to keep us hooked.