Life is busy and many of us go from work to play to workout. Keeping up with our social and work schedule requires some serious ninja skills.
The 30s are the decade of the woman.
She has the beauty and fertility to be the bell of every ball while having the confidence, clarity of purpose, and tricks of the trade to be downright dangerous.
So if you're 30 something & not stoked about your dating results, allow me to fill you in on a few fabulous truths to direct your attention to:
1. Unapologetic Confidence.
Our 30s are a great time for personal revelation, comfort and confidence, as well as clarity in purpose.
why on earth we focus on slight aging signs and a panic over wasted youth when we're in our prime makes no sense. Spending so much as a breath explaining to a date what you wished you did differently or why you still have some holiday weight is the biggest mistake any woman can make. Wiggle when you walk, laugh loudly, spread your feminine energy broadly, and rock what you've got.
Yes we want to be fully seen, but he needs to see you as the inspiring goddess you are and would never notice those flaws if you didn't advertise them.
Stop with all conversation that isn't about how fabulous, excited, interesting, or busy you are. Acknowledge vulnerability but stay positive and emanate your goddess glow. It's your true self anyway and you really shouldn't lie to him by lowering your worth in the name of humility or external validation.
2. we Understand the role of story-telling in success.
My ladies in branding and marketing could write this paragraph. The rest of us should listen up. Your brand and perceived worth will be determined by how you position yourself.
No being too available. No being self deprecating. No explaining away anything. You're in the best decade of your life and couldn't be more thrilled. Zero fear ladies. The words you say will determine how he sees you.
If you're feeling generous, explain to one of those fabulous 20 somethings the power she has if she's willing to put the insecurity, neurosis, and self limiting beliefs aside.
You are the minx he's been waiting for with all of the brains, beauty, experience, bedroom tricks, gratitude, and life hacks that make you the ultimate partner. The only reason you're still available is because you "recently got out of something after realizing you were settling and thought you both deserved better". That's it. Zero further explanation. Oh yeah, and you seem to not stay single long for whatever reason... Cue the coy innocent glance.
He is not your therapist and cannot know anything beyond that as to why someone of your caliber could possibly be available. If you're online dating, see my specific recommendation in the Tinder Article. Online dating is already disadvantageous - But it's not a deal breaker and can be done gracefully by holding your ground, worth, and standards.
3. We know how to put our Best face forward.
Thanks to beauty revelations, there's a good chance you're even prettier than you were in your 20s understanding the rules of the fashion, makeup, camera angles, lighting, and great dermatologist game. These skills were acquired after a confusing decade in the wrong concealer. You made it through that battleground so use every trick in the book to enjoy your female embodiment thoroughly. my girlfriends raised with money often figured this out earlier and had the kind of fun in their 20s, the 30s guarantee.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you've probably been kicking ass in your career and need to call me asap to take advantage of all that is out there to accentuate your goddess glow. It took me until 26 to figure out how to enjoy my God given gifts.
It's way too fun and men are way too visual to not know your way around a pair of fake eyelashes, stillettos, great black dresses, facials, runway walks, and flattering camera angles.
While annoying to be so heavily judged on such a shallow criteria, our evolutionary brain keeps it a priority and we want you dazzling your hottest prospect while your fertility indicators are still primed and ready.
4. We Filter Faster
Thank God we're no longer willing to take scraps to obtain a man's time. Most of us can't believe it took us this long to figure out that men are wired to chase and would rather chase 7s than be chased by 10s. Their brain flips the crazy switch when we pursue, shoving us into a category we don't actually belong in, leaving them unmotivated to work hard for us. Have standards, set boundaries, be fabulous, and have faith that the next one is coming if this one doesn't pan out.
In our 30s, we no longer settle. We now know it sets us up for poor treatment and underwhelming life experiences the entirety of the relationship. Just being absent doing our own thing is enough to give him the "miss you time" he needs to regroup as a man, get shit done, and get fired up to see you again. Being busy and treating men you really like similar to men you kind of like is the key to early dating success.
Stick to the plan and ditch the duds. Sticking with losers longer will only attract less than we deserve.
We no longer waste time being a guys booty call, hoping he comes around, and taking less than we know we deserve. We LOOK FOR RED FLAGS and filter faster - not because we have less time but because we're now smart enough to not waste ours. The universe and the man in question will give us what we think we deserve. Act like a prize and enjoy being pursued as one.
5. We broaden our prospects from past experience
The bad boy quarterback billionaire we may have been narrowly looking for in our 20s is now a laughable, media conjured, biological caricature of what is actually out there. The few that do exist are usually assholes thanks to the corruption of unlimited power and make for the worst partners and fathers (though painfully and annoyingly sexy). We're now smart enough to let the 20 somethings fight to "change" the lost cause men & reward the good ones.
Look at why your last 5 relationships didn't work and start selecting men that have different qualities that perhaps you wouldn't allow for in past pursuits.
Take a hard look at if drug like chemistry or rock hard abs is the MOST IMPORTANT quality a partner must have. Could we be filtering out happiness by selecting based on someone else's silly standards? Do we actually really enjoy feeling safe, laughing a lot, and wanting to enjoy talking to our longterm partner - which may not come in the package we've been marketed in perfume ads.
Our 30s are rad, let's enjoy our power.
give yourself permission to be fierce, feminine, and fabulous and unapologetically rock what you've got. Women in their 20s often miss their power wrapped up in how stressful that decade is in so many areas. yu have the knowledge, insight, tools, and experience born confidence to truly rock what you've got & enjoy every step of it. dating is your playground girl! get to it.
LET'S GET IT ON THE TABLE:
OUR SPECIES SURVIVED AND THRIVED TO PASS ON THE NEXT GENERATION'S GENES NOT BECAUSE PEOPLE PAIRED UP UNTIL THEY WERE 80 IN MARITAL UNIONS.
MONOGAMY HAS IT'S BENEFITS, BUT IT DOESN'T COME EASILY. Here are 5 reasons to give it a try .
My apologies to the men in advance for letting the cat out of the bag. i want you guys happy & laid, just not at my soul sisters' expense. Gotta share the rules. Don't hate me.
RULE 1: Never sleep with a guy quickly from Tinder